English......

Some people have no idea how to read or write. It astounds me. I took this at a truck stop that i stopped at on my way back from San Luis Obispo last weekend.

The lady working the counter saw me take this and laughing hysterically. I think she realized how big of an idiot she is

Squirt

Squirt is the best drink ever. Fuck Pabst Blue Ribbon, Squirt is the new drink for all the hipsters out there. I'm bringing it back. Tell your friends

Squirt Did You Know

• Created by Herb Bishop in 1939
• Contains real grapefruit juice
• Owned by British Cadbury Schweppes

routine

i have the same routine every morning. i was describing it to someone at work and they thought i was crazy. Here's some of the stuff that i do EVERY morning no matter what.

I always:

• Set my alarm to an even time, and not on the hour
• Throw a pillow off my bed before i get out of bed
• Get into the shower from the right side of the curtain
• Put shampoo in my left hand
• Turn off the shower, and wipe the water off my arms and chest before getting out

It is so random, and i have no idea why i do it, but it works for me so screw you

Oh Bloom.....

My buddy Bloom was telling me about how him and two of my other buddies got in a fight with these 2 guys at a bar. this is how he described what everyone looked like

"there are two late 20's early thirty hipster guys..with shaggy long hair, huge beards.. big messanger bags..and tatoos all over them-selves.

im dressed kinda pretty, but not over the top or anything"

Dressed pretty? Nice one Bloom

Stuck in my head

i cant stop listening to this song. It's in Magnolia, and i watched it recently and got it stuck in my head

ernesto

Dear Ernesto:

Since you won't call me back, i'm telling you like this. Your nickname is now Cuddles. Why? Cause Elliott and i think it is the best nickname ever, and you deserve it.



Also you owe me $31. Pay up bitch

Plates

I own a decent amount of plates. Maybe i have too many. I don't know. I'm not sure what the typical single guy my age has in the plate department. Anyways, i have about 15.

I figure that's a good amount, especially since i have somebody over to eat at my place (which means take out brought back) probably once a month at best.

But even though i have all these plates, and no use for any of them except for me, i only ever use one plate.

Is this strange? Since i eat, wash the plate, put it on top, and eat again without any interruption in the cycle. I just use the same plate every meal.

I don't know why i'm thinking about this, but i thought it was strange