Strange Night

Last night i had a strange experience that i thought i would share.

After another night at Typhoon, Sewards and I walked Buono back to her place, and then proceeded to look for a taxi. One problem. Sewards and i live in different directions, and we both decided to part ways and look for a taxi.

Just after leaving Sewards, a taxi comes flying around the corner with its light on, and i call for it to stop. I get in, and am suprised someone else is already using the taxi. This dude is sitting in the front passenger seat paying no attention to me cursing on the top of his voice.

"Fuckin bitches, they dont know how bay area do. Ill fuck any mutha fucker up. Fuck that im fucking crazy..."

I just say "uhhh i need to get dropped off on Olney street". The taxi driver, this african dude, pays absolutly no attention to me and starts driving in the exact opposite way of my place. So this guy is cursing his brains out, im just sitting in the back seat progressively getting farther and farther away from my house. I finally realize we are headed towards Ocean Beach. Crap

On the way to wherever it was were going, the taxi driver pulls over and tells these two chicks to get in the cab, he will get them home. So now i got the crazy taxi driver driving, some cokehead in the front seat screaming about how hes "gonna kill bitches", these two chicks next to me, and then i realize the thingie tracking how much we are supposed to pay isnt even on. Shit

As were driving the girls ask me if i have any fucking clue whats going on. I first see that one of the girls straps on her shirt is broken, and her boob is about to fall out, and they seem to be almost as inebriated as me. I explain i have no idea where the fuck i am, where the fuck we are going, or for that matter whats going on in my life. We hold on for the ride, and finally come to a stop in front of some house. The crazy dude gets out, says he doesnt have any money and that he will "get him back". The taxi driver yells "fuck you" and we leave.

So i guess at some point the chicks explain where they live, and we end up at their place. The girls explain all they got is $3. This however is not enough, and the taxi driver starts yelling that he wants to see a boob for the ride he gave. I start pleading with the girls to show a boob, not so much for my own satisfaction, but for the fact that im scared of the taxi driver. They kinda oblige finally, and they get out of the car and start to leave. I turn and say :

Bones: all right so i live just off...
Taxi Driver: get the fuck out of the cab im not driving you home
Bones: what the fuck are you talking about? Gimmie a ride
Taxi Driver: fuck you give me $6 and get out
Bones: Six bucks? i dont even know where the fuck i am. Drive me home
Taxi Driver: Get out
Bones: no

At this point the taxi driver yells to the chicks "hey can he go wid you guys". For some reason they agree, and he says "i just got you chicks, pay me 6 bucks". I look in my wallet, and all i got is a $50 and a $1 bill, so i give him the one dollar i got and tell me to give me his number, ill hit him up in the future and give him the rest of his money.....i guess his name is Ocean
So i get out of the cab and go to these chicks place with them. We sit down and start talking, and we end up talking about politics at which point for some reason i declare i am against gay adoption. Great, one of the chicks uncle and cousin are gay. She starts crying and yelling at me. The other chick goes into their roomates room and starts cussing her out and pulling the sheets off her bed. I realize that i should either ride this out to the morning, or leave. I get the fuck out of there.

From there i realize i don't know where i am, i stumble around until i eventually find garnett and walk home. It was a long walk. It was an interesting night

Vegas Baby

My tenth Vegas Trip in the books. Obviously another magical trip to the land of sin.
Beau and i flew out of San Diego friday morning at 11:00 and were sitting in the buffet by 1. Morris, Sewards, Ken, Megan, and Bonnie Raitt all drove out and didn't meet up with me and Beau until 6:30....poor saps...Frodo also showed his face from Irvine at 7:30.

As soon as everyone should up we decided that getting wasted would be in the best interest of all parties involved, and started to get shit house. We cruised the strip drinking for awhile, and ended up in Studio 54 at the MGM (where we were staying). I figured that since i was wasted, i would venture to the dance floor and sea-walk my way to a good time. We somehow ran into these chicks, and one of them took a strong interest in Beau
Somehow he found out that she was 31....the rest of course could write itself

Beau: Dude, i dont really want to hook up with this chick, but she's 31
Bones: Done deal dude.
Beau: I know, it will be my biggest age difference ever, and i cant walkaway from that.

So after dancing Beau sealed his fate, and his new record into the books.

We continued to be dancing machines for a bit more, and watched these chicks on little swings descend from the roof and thrust in various directions, peeking my interest for minutes on end
While this show was inspiring me to rethink my career path, the alcohol consumption was starting to catch up on all of us by this point, and we all went back to the room, Sean punched me in the butt for some odd reason, i threw the remote control at his shin, and we all passed out

We woke up early the next morning, and we all sauntered down to the lazy river, to get some much needed rays, and to once again, begin drinking. We drank at the pool until 6, took naps, and then once again began to drink and figure out our plans for the evening. After some pre-game drinking while watching Cops, we descended onto the strip, and made our way to the dueling piano bar at New York, New York. We some how while sitting at the bar peeked the interest of this asian chick, who happened to work for Bud Light, and decided to hook us up with beer for a couple hours.....WERD
Everyone (Morris) wanted to go back to Studio 54 again, so we went, and before we could get in Frodo, Beau, and I peeled off from the pack and found some random bar to sit in and get super shitty. I called Ken who was in Studio 54 and told him that i met up with a big group of hot chicks (lie) and that he should hurry up and meet up with us. After a bit they did, and we got really wasted all night, and passed out once again.
In the end it was an awesome trip, and can't wait for trip number 11 this July.....here are some things that also happened i had nowhere to really fit

• Somehow the chick that Beau made out with relayed the fact to Beau that she had ovarian cancer....ummmm ok
• Morris made out with a black chick
• Sewards has to be in every picture possible. He either needs to put the peace symbol in, or make some stupid face.....watch his facial expression darting into the picture, and then giving the peace sign:
  

• No matter how many times i go to Vegas, i swear i never see more than 5 hot chicks the whole time i'm there.....What the fuck?
• The guy at Mcdonalds gave me 32 ketchup packets...i counted
• Quotes of the weekend -

Bonnie Raitt: Ken you look better with you mouth shut
Beau: You look better with my eyes shut

Megan: If he gets pussy then i get cock (referring to the hookers i'm getting her boyfriend Jason for his bachelor party)

• We got in the elevator and i said "can someone press the button for the penthouse?" No one thought i was funny, and it went down as the most awkwardly silent elevator ride ever
• "Wake me up before you go" is my ringtone, and as i was taking a piss my phone ring, and some old drunk dude a few stalls down yells "Was that fucking Wham?"
• Ken brought a 17 year old girl up to his room
  

Red Hot Chili Peppers

One of my favorite bands ever have a new video out...check it out...also have a new album on the way Stadium Arcadium